Comedian and new mum, Amy Vreeke talks to Carmel Thomason about debunking the myths of motherhood in her new stand-up show, Glowing, and using humour to put people at ease to shine a spotlight on some of the trickier topics of life.
How are you finding being a new mum?
Amy: “Hard, incredible, overwhelming, life changing. I love being a mum, but my goodness it’s knackering!”
What made you want to write a show about motherhood?
Amy: “During pregnancy I suffered with prenatal anxiety. I never knew it was a thing until I was diagnosed. I started to blog about my experience and was amazed at all the responses from women who’d also suffered but felt alone with it. That’s when I thought – these things need to be talked about more – So, Glowing was born.”
What is Glowing about?
Amy: “Glowing is about the time you cried in the soft play area and another mum offered you a brew, it’s about when someone rolled their eyes at you because you were taking too long to get the pram on the bus, it’s about the overwhelming joy, boredom, anger and delight that comes with being a mum. It’s about maternal mental health”.
Why do you think comedy allows people to discuss taboo topics?
Amy: “Comedy puts people at ease. It creates an environment where you can talk about the hardest subject but in an accessible way. Comedy makes everything feel a bit lighter”.
Are there any out of bounds topics for you?
Amy: “It’s a tough one. I think the topics that are good to keep away from in a show are the ones that maybe haven’t been processed yet. But I am really lucky that I’m surrounded by a great team that make me feel comfortable exploring the really hard stuff. And the hardest stuff is usually the most important to share. I don’t really talk about my relationship with my husband much – unless I have his permission”.
How do you decide which stories to tell about your child and what to keep private?
Amy: “Most of the stories are more about my journey through motherhood than directly about my child. He’s involved in that journey but the show isn’t really about him. I think this’ll change as he gets older, but to be honest, he just does normal generic toddler things at the moment so it feels OK to share them”.
You previously wrote a show about endometriosis. Is it important to you to have a campaigning/awareness raising angle to your comedy?
Amy: “I start the process of a show by writing about something I feel passionate about. Those things so far have been things that need awareness raising around. Advocating for something gives me drive to write the best show possible, to do justice to the subject matter and to use my platform for change. I love that my job allows me to do that. Having said that, I also really enjoy writing silly sketches and jokes that are purely for fun. I think both things are important.”
How do you manage to juggle childcare with a stand-up career? What is the hardest part?
Amy: “As I will explain in the show, I have had to completely change the way I work. I actually no longer work on the stand up circuit. I create my own projects, like Glowing, and look for more writing/facilitation work where I can be more in control of when and where I work. I only work part time and I try and set really strong boundaries between days with my child and work days – saying that I am doing this interview during nap time! At first I found the hardest thing just simply trying to do anything on top of the already 24/7 job that is motherhood. And guilt. Either guilty for not being with them or guilty for not working enough. I try work through that, but it’s not easy.”
What would it mean to you to see more comedians who are mums on the circuit?
Amy: “There are already lots of great mums on the circuit. It would be great to feel like the circuit was a viable option for more mums, most of us are really funny and I think the world deserves to experience us”.
Glowing runs at Contact, Manchester from 18- 22 October 2022. There will be a post show discussion with Amy Vreeke on Friday 21 and at the Saturday Matinee on 22 at 2.30pm the venue is offering a free crèche facility for pre school aged children but booking is required at time of purchasing tickets.